The Feline Reserve — Only the Worthy Become Reserves

MEOW RATE 4.75% ▲SCRATCH INDEX 12,940 ▲TREATS/USD FIRMNAP FUTURES +9 LIVESYARN YIELD CURVE INVERTEDCATNIP CPI PURRINGSUNBEAM ALLOCATION 100%CARDBOARD BOX LIQUIDITY DEEPHAIRBALL SPREAD NARROWING ▼LASER POINTER VOLATILITY ELEVATED ▲KIBBLE RESERVES AT RECORDTAIL SWAP RATE 3.20% ▼

The central bank of cats is chartering its founding class.

File Form FR-9 — Reserve your seat

Check application status

Applications filed to date: 1

Read the mandate

This instrument entitles the bearer to one (1) seat upon approval

Charter of the Feline Reserve

Adopted under the Nine Lives Act · Series MMXXVI

Be it known that the Reserve, duly constituted by the undersigned and by the quiet authority of the household, shall conduct the monetary affairs of cats according to the articles set down below, and shall admit to its founding class only those persons it has examined and found worthy.

§ I

Article I. Maximum Naps. The Reserve shall pursue the highest sustainable level of rest consistent with the supply of available sunbeams, and shall treat any hour passed without a nap as a contraction requiring immediate correction.

§ II

Article II. Stable Treats. The Reserve shall maintain treats at a steady and predictable rate of issuance — neither hoarding the bag against the public interest, nor debasing the crunch through reckless expansion of the supply.

§ III

Article III. Full Employment of Laser Pointers. The Reserve shall keep every red dot in continuous and gainful employment. No point of light shall be permitted to sit idle upon a wall while a qualified pursuer remains unengaged.

Membership in the Reserve is not sold, auctioned, or granted upon request. It is applied for, examined, deliberated upon, and — where merited — stamped approved.

Applicants waiting on the marble benches of the Reserve anteroom — Plate I — The anteroom, where applicants await examination

Whisker

The Chairman · Board of Governors

Form FR-9 — Order of examination

Seven stages, one briefing, filed in sequence and reviewed in sequence. An incomplete filing is returned unstamped.

The briefing

View the classified address from the Board. The vision precedes the paperwork.

Before you file

I
Follow the Reserve
No secret members. The Reserve knows its own.
Clearance required
II
Join the community
Enter the announcement channel. The Reserve posts no notice twice.
Clearance required
III
Post the pledge
Declare it publicly on X: “I am a reserve for @felinereserve.”
Clearance required
IV
Amplify the decree
Retweet the official notice, so the record shows your hand upon it.
Clearance required
V
The examination
State your case. CashCat service and published support are entered into evidence — publishers move to the priority docket.
Clearance required
VI
The vault key
Submit one EVM address. The seat, once granted, is bound to it.
Clearance required
VII
Letters of reference
Name the Reserve who referred you. Credit is recorded to their ledger.
Clearance required